He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun got a little perturbed and announced loudly. "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replies, "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law."
*****
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
*****
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years-- when my husband was alive."
*****
John and David were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John out.
The Medical Director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the mental hospital as he considered him to be okay. The doctor told David,
"David, we have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient whom you saved, Mr. John, hung himself in the bathroom, and died."
David replied, "Doctor he didn't hang himself, I hung him there to dry."
by KMJ
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